Do mothers lose their identities?

Posted on November 2, 2009


During our “meeting” at Peet’s Coffee Sunday morning, we thought of making a video to No Doubt’s “I’m Just a Girl” after seeing these guys belt out the Backstreet Boys.  I don’t know how we’ll pull it off exactly but it’s one of those crazy things that come up when you get some mommy bloggers together.  I feel so fortunate to be part of remarkable group of creative, intelligent and funny bunch of women!  Oh yes, it so happens that we are all moms too.


Isn’t it sad that too often women who have children forget that they were, CAN be and ARE creative, intelligent, funny and awesome.  Those sleepless nights and shower-less days take its toll and you look into a mirror and you don’t recognize the person staring back at you.  On bad days like these, you feel like a shell of your former self. On a good day you catch a glimpse of your child and suddenly you realize your purpose and you see life full of endless possibilities.


Motherhood is one of those things that despite all its wonderful aspects shakes you to your core – and makes you wonder about your identity. It makes you want to find, redefine and assert who you are inside.  “What were you in a previous life?” I often ask mommies I meet – and of course they launch into their previous jobs – BK (before kids).  But we are more than our jobs.


In my past life, I’ve been a teacher and TV producer. I’ve worked in the fields of fashion, publishing and radio.  And through it all I’ve felt what kept me grounded was knowing what it was I was good at and what it was I enjoyed.  My own struggle has been more about finding my purpose rather than discovering my identity.


What was it all for? What am I working towards?  In a nutshell, I want to be the best wife to my husband and the best mom to my kids. But don’t we all?


In the words of Wanda Sykes, “I’ma Be Me.